LaLu!
by MyFictionalFantasy
Summary: Their first meeting wasn't traditional in any sense. And after a partically arranged marriage, things only get crazier. Between crazy birthday parites, overly dramatic traditions, and an epic prank war, Laxus and Lucy have a lot in store for themselves. A collection of one-shots for Laxus x Lucy
1. Masquerade

**Oh Hola, I bring you LaLu week.**

 **I hope you all enjoy these little snippets - they can be taken as a one-shot or a full story depending on you!**

 **I'll see you guys at the bottom,**

 **Drop a review, they keep the fingers typing.**

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 **Also if you are reading any of my other stories, please take a peak down the bottom before leaving the story.**

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Masquerade.

Maybe if Jude hadn't been such an emotionally constipated father so set on marrying off his daughter, Lucy might have enjoyed herself. But paired with the insistent need to get rid of her, in order to make money for his _oh so precious_ company, and the corset that was digging into her ribs more so than usual, Lucy was just peachy.

She was sitting politely, her hands folded in her lap as she glared out of the eyeholes of her white mask. The room was filled to the brink with saggy balled old men and, let's not forget, their young wives that had been keenly waiting for their ancient partners to die so they could pull the rod out of their asses and watch the gold flow.

Absolutely peachy.

Her father had been kind enough to take into consideration her request for a masquerade.

He thought his daughter – bright, bubbly, 'Lucky' Lucy Heartfilia – was being creative and, for once, willing to have hundreds of guests in their mansion. Oh no – she just wanted to see grotesque suitors fishing the money from under the folds and not have to see the moles and lecherous grins that decorated their drooping faces.

Maybe that way she could at least pretend her father wasn't selling her like a cheap whore.

Her eyes drifted to a short pudgy man, he proudly wore the receding hairline of the century, scraping up enough dignity to pull the long strands up and over the back of his head like a cheap toupee. He was grinning at her father, and even from her safe-zone almost fifteen metres away, she could see the tobacco that stained his teeth.

Her father looked at her from the corner of his eye, quickly enough that no one but she could see. He had always looked at her like that when he was contemplating a son in law. Considering the man had lasted more than three minutes in her father's presence, he had a large profit.

And from the two figures walking towards her, she was about to be part of that profit.

There wasn't any moment where she could run, especially when her corset made it hard to breathe sitting – and let's not mention her shoes. So, Lucy sat, calm and submissive, waiting. She saw a crease form above her father's eyebrow, she smirked to herself.

"Father," she addressed, just as she had been taught.

"Lucy," he started, gesturing to the short fat man. "This is Lord Tumbleton, head of the Tumbleton Corporation."

"How nice to know," she cleared her throat, staring at the gross one, smiling politely. "It is a pleasure to be acquainted with you and your receding hair line." She giggled, raising her hand to her mouth, "Oh how I hope you do not carry dominant genes." There was a snort to her left, presumably from another guest. Lucy stood abruptly, dusting her dress, ignoring the glare her father was giving her. "Now if you'll excuse me,"

"Lucy," her father warned.

She looked down at the man – because he was even shorter than her already short self – his mouth hanging open. "Chin up chap, I can smell breakfast from here."

And with that last comment, Lucy walked away, taking a glass of champagne and moving towards the tables with the food. She stuffed the delicious goodness into her mouth, not caring at the appalled looks she was getting from the snobby women.

There was a cough to her left, "Do you mind answering a question?" The voice was deep and Lucy looked up long enough to see blonde hair and a black mask.

"Yes, I do."

A pause.

"Well, can I ask for your opinion on a matter?"

Lucy sighed, stuffing another pastry into her mouth, chewing as she spoke. "I guess,"

He bent down, murmuring low enough so no one else could hear him, "Out of the two men over there," he pointed two of his fingers towards two men, one exceedingly tall and lean, the other much like Lord Tumbleton. She popped another desert into her mouth. "Who do you think is giving and who do you think is receiving?"

Lucy choked on her pastry, looking up from the table to take a long glance at him, still coughing. He was quite tall, almost as tall as the man he was referring to, and from the width of his biceps, he was quite muscular too. His hair was a similar shade to hers, and – to her great dismay – his eyes were shadowed by his mask.

 _Why can't Jude try to force me to marry men like this?_

Taking air back into her lungs and pressing her lips together, Lucy looked back over to the two men. "Well, my gaydar is pretty strong," she started, "So, I think the lean one is getting it." She tilted her head, "Although the fat one could be submissive – you know how daddy issues work – but I think he needs to have a little control." She looked back at him, "But I think either way they're both not to opposed to having you join in the taste testing of the forbidden fruit, if you know what I mean."

The man to her left shuddered and Lucy laughed, taking a sip of her wine, laughing even harder as eye contact was made between her and the fat man – his eyes briefly flickering to her left in a hungry daze.

"Laxus Dreyar," he stuck his hand out, Lucy shook it, squeezing just as fiercely as he did.

"Lucy Heartfilia," she smirked, her eyes flickering to the bowl next to him. "For your benefit, I'm hoping he is very invested in fruit punch."

Laxus chuckled, shaking his head, "For your benefit, I'm hoping you have a lock on your door."

"I don't think I should be the one worried about sexual harassment," she clicked her tongue, "That stare was pretty intense if you ask me."

He stared at her for a long while, seeming to size her up. She stared back, "So it's safe to assume your Jude's daughter?"

She _felt_ her face drop. She swallowed, forcing down the food in her mouth, not grabbing another pastry _just_ yet. "That would be a correct assumption, depending," she drawled out, "on what it is you want."

He licked his lips, stealing pastry for himself. "How about a deal?" he popped it in his mouth, chewing slowly.

She felt an eyebrow rise, "And the terms?"

Laxus swallowed. "You mention my Grandfather's company to him, get him at least a little bit interested, and I will come to every single party he throws so you can discuss sagging scrotums with more than your thoughts for company."

Eyebrows waving at her hairline, Lucy pushed down her twitching lips, "You make it hard to say no, Mr. Dreyar." She took a sip of her champagne, analysing the offer.

Seeing him at every party certainly wouldn't be a bad thing.

"I will agree to your terms on one condition," he raised an eyebrow, "Considering I have never seen, nor heard of the Dreyar name, it would be safe to assume that you and your grandfather are new to this… class of society, correct?"

He nodded once, the mask hiding a furrowed eyebrow. "I can make that change," she stared at him in a way she had seen starved women look at meals. "If you do one thing for my own gratification." she purred, giving him a sultry smile.

This time his eyebrows raised, the tops of them peeking out of his gold trimmed mask. He smirked, "Deal. Now," he cleared his throat, his voice deepening slightly. "What is it that I have to do for you exactly?"

"You," she started, making her voice huskier then it needed to be, "Must," she licked her lips, "Go over to those fine men over there and introduce yourself." She pointed two of her fingers to two men, grinning as a cackle ripped free of her.

Laxus followed her fingers, his face draining in colour as he made eye contact with the fat man again, his lean partner behind him. "You're joking, right?"

Lucy shook her head, frowning, "Oh I never joke, Mr. Dreyar." There was a glint of humour in her eyes that he must've seen, along with a seriousness that let him know that he wouldn't be getting out of it. "Well, Miss. Heartfilia," he gulped, "I will be back."

He strolled off, making his way over to the men, and Lucy watched with an endless supply of pastries as the fat man jumped with glee, mumbling, "I wonder if their wives know."

* * *

After Laxus' return – in which he was sickly pale – he had glared at her, demanding her part of the deal. She had held up a hand, telling him matter-of-factly that: "With my usual stubborn qualities, I can't simply walk up to him and talk about someone. It needs to be planted as a seed."

He had glared at her and cursed her existence, but she had promised him.

And if her late mother had taught her anything, it was that she should never break a promise.

So Lucy sat at the long table, her father reading a newspaper as they ate their breakfast. "Father," she cleared her throat, wiping her mouth and putting down her cutlery. "I believe it is in our best interests to expand the company's railways through Magnolia." She looked up, he had his eyebrows raised, staring over the papers at her.

"I didn't think you had many interests concerning the company," His words were true of course, she hadn't ever actually showed any interest.

"Even so, Father, if we expand through Magnolia and then Hargeon, we can transport products from both towns and then further to the north."

After Laxus had gotten over his immediate disliking for her ideas, he had explained that his grandfather had recently become the town's new mayor.

"You do know what this entails, correct?"

Lucy nodded, swallowing thickly. If she were to take part in this promise fully, she would need to get married, and if she worked her luck, which must have been pretty impressive considering her title – 'Lucky' Lucy Heartfilia – then she would be ok with that.

"I spoke with a man at the masquerade the other week, Makarov, I think his name was, he currently came into power as Magnolia's new mayor."

"What a coincidence," she mumbled dryly.

"I suppose he would be too old for you to marry," he drummed his fingers along the wooden table. "Hargeon's mayor isn't young, but he would suitable."

She cleared her throat, "Excuse me, Father," she morphed her face into one of curiosity, not allowing her father to know that this was all going according to plan. "This Makarov man, he wouldn't happen have the surname Dreyar, would he?"

Her father thought back, "Yes, I believe he does." He frowned, "Why are you asking?"

"I spoke with a Laxus Dreyar at the masquerade, it must be Makarov's grandson." She nodded to herself, "He is the direct heir to Makarov, and should he get married, he takes over the families enterprises, not including Mayor of course." She paused, taking a piece of food and popping it in her mouth. She swallowed, "Would he not be a suitable man to marry?"

* * *

When the next ball had come around, Makarov and Laxus Dreyar were the first to get invites. They had arrived at the peak of the party. It wasn't a masquerade this time, and when Lucy saw Laxus' full face, she had to admit to herself that her plan had some serious bonuses.

There was a lightning shaped scar that ran down his right eye, somehow not actually damaging what lay underneath. His face was as chiselled as she had expected, his eyebrows as bushy as she had imagined. And his eyes were perfect replicas of an angry storm in the centre of the sea.

They had locked eyes, and Lucy immediately moved towards the food table, smirking and stuffing a pastry in her mouth.

"Just what strings did you pull, Miss Heartfilia?" She let her eyes drift to where Makarov, a short, slim man with white hair, and her father were chatting. Laxus hummed, "Apparently the right ones."

Lucy ignored him, "Those two women over there," she pointed out two black haired women with pushed up noses. "Did you know they are the wives of the two men from last time?"

Laxus tilted his head, "I can't say I did,"

"Me either."

Laxus stretched out his neck, searching the mingling guests. "Where are out two little friends anyway?"

Lucy grinned, "Oh, they both had to visit the little boy's room."

"Oh," Laxus pushed down his grin, "Apparently the fruit punch wasn't nearly as tempting as last time."

Lucy laughed, "Don't tell me you're jealous, Mr. Dreyar."

He scoffed, "I can assure you I am not."

"Well that is good."

He turned to her smirking, "Don't tell me you're jealous, Miss. Heartfilia?"

Lucy hummed, "I will be in about thirty seconds."

He frowned, "What?"

Lucy ignored him, "Oh, I forgot to tell you," she sipped her glass of wine, "You're a guest of honour tonight."

He narrowed his eyes, "What did you do?"

She shrugged nonchalantly, "I just got your company on its feet in the most efficient way possible." She looked over his shoulder, as her father climbed to the slightly elevated platform.

"Excuse me everyone!" Jude had raised his voice in a way that made everyone quieten.

Laxus turned; facing Jude, barely listening as the host spoke, thanking everyone for coming. He kept his eyes on Lucy. "What do you mean _my_ company?

Lucy linked her arm through his, he stiffened slightly. Lucy grinned from ear to ear, "Remember when you told me that if you got married Makarov's companies were yours?"

He looked at Jude before snapping his eyes to hers, "…Yes.." he said hesitantly.

Lucy grinned, "Smile." He did, despite his curiosity.

"You were all invited here tonight in honour of my daughter, Lucy, and her new fiancé, Laxus Dreyar."

He stiffened, keeping his smile in place as the crowd of guests turned to them both.

"I wish them all the happiness the future can hold."

As the guests applauded and cheered, Lucy let her eyes move to Laxus'. He grinned down at her. "You are truly something, Lucy." He smirked, "I should've at least bought a ring."

Lucy laughed, too much sincerity in her eyes when she looked at him.

"Welcome to the company, _fiancé_ ,"

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 **Hi, if you read any of my other stories, they will be on hold momentarily, as I can't access the files as of late.**

 **Hopefully I'll get all that sorted out this week some time, if not, well, only time can tell.**

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 **HEY! YOU MADE IT! CONGRATS!**

 **Well I really do hope you like this, it's been a stressful couple of weeks, so getting this out really is a relief.**

 **Leave a review if you feel like it.**

 **I'll see you all tomorrow!**


	2. War

**Huge thanks to everyone who supported this story in one way or another,**

 **you all made my day. Honestly.**

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 **ENJOY!**

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 **If you don't know what water beads are, do a quick google search - it helps with the story ;)**

War.

When Lucy had walked in the front door, she could sense it.

Something was most definitely _not_ right.

Looking both left and right she tip-toed past the kitchen, into the living room, her eyes drifting around. "What the fuck did you do now?"

She stepped into the bedroom, opening the door and stepping to the side, waiting for something to fall from the ceiling. She bent at the waist looking in all directions. Lucy tip-toed over to the bed, pushing on different corners, waiting for something to happen.

She moved herself into the bathroom, turning the tap on slowly. When nothing happened she hesitantly picked up the soap, sniffing it.

"Still the same."

Walking to the toilet, she lifted the lid, looking from all angels to see if he had put cling film over it. She flushed it once. Twice. Three times for good luck.

Frowning Lucy moved to the shower, the one place that he always resorted to. Taking the first bottle of shampoo, Lucy rubbed a bit on her arm. When nothing happened, she took the conditioner, doing the same. When she rinsed it off, Lucy looked on with satisfaction as a patch of her arm hair washed off.

She threw the bottle into the trashcan, the bottle going in effortlessly. She took her body lotion, rubbing it on her other arm. While she waited she unscrewed the top of the shower head, checking in the filter for anything suspicious.

Frowning, Lucy screwed it back on. She checked her arm, shaking her head at the darkened skin on her arm. Chucking the bottle in the bin, she continued on her quest.

Her hair mask had green hair dye in it, something that irritated her when taking into consideration just how expensive the product was. Her soap bar was left untouched, her shaving cream had been replaced – with what she could tell – with hair mouse, her razor had had the blades taken out of it.

She didn't even risk her toothbrush – not wanting to know what her husband could have possibly done with it – immediately throwing it in the bin. She had more hidden anyway. After she had checked the remainder of the bathroom, Lucy sighed and had a shower, one free of malicious pranks.

When she got out, dressed herself in her comfiest pyjamas, slippers on her feet and her hair wrapped in a towel above her head.

Still, the feeling of unease did not go away.

Sighing in defeat, Lucy carelessly walked out of the bedroom, opening her laptop. She was feeling in the mood to write. Lucy frowned, moving her wireless mouse, trying to get the damn thing to work. Groaning she flipped it over, pulling the sticky note off the bottom of it.

"Really, Laxus? Couldn't be a little more creative?"

Besides her mouse moving _unbearably_ slow, Lucy was quite content. She didn't really need her mouse anyway. Cracking her knuckles, Lucy read over the last chapter of her novel. When she made the necessary changes she missed while writing it, she began writing the new instalment.

It wasn't until she was done that she began editing, not wanting to lose her flow while writing it, that her mouse started thoroughly pissing her right off. She picked it up again, checking the bottom again, slamming it onto the mouse-pad a few times. Groaning, she tried moving it again, that same agonisingly slow pace seeming to fuck with her more and more with each passing second.

Opening her browser, Lucy began typing into Google.

 _Why is my mouse mov-_

And then her computer screen flashed black, coming back on to display the restart screen.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no–"

 _Close tabs?_

 _Automatic closing in process._

"Don't you fucking dare!" her eyes drifting to the bottom of the page:

 _Do you want to cancel restart?_

"Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes–" she moved her mouse to the cancel button, it moving too slowly for her to actually reach it. Still, Lucy didn't give up, watching, eyes wide, as the automatic restart count was decreasing. And then her screen turned off. Coming back on with a loading page the word 'restarting' sitting proudly in the centre of the screen.

Lucy was very comfortable admitting that she stared at the screen for an agonizingly long five minutes. Even when the screen came back on, she didn't make an attempt to open the document.

Lucy stood, moving emotionlessly to the lounge, sitting down and staring straight into the dark screen of her TV.

"I didn't save." she mumbled. "I didn't save once." She laughed a little _heh_ before it turned into a sob. Picking up her phone from the cushion to the left of her. Pressing on her husband's contact, she stared blankly at the numbers. And then the front door unlocked and in walked her husband, in all his smirking glory.

"Hello," he said, hanging his keys up on the hook. He took one look at her, another at the computer – at the untouched opening screen – and stifled a laugh. "That's for the ghost pepper cookies."

"My computer," she didn't look at him, keeping her eyes on the TV. "Is strictly off limits." She stood from the lounge, picking up her phone. "Put whatever you want in my shampoos, dye my hair any colour, shove my toothbrush as far up your ass as you want. But my computer," she looked at him, the iciest glare Laxus had ever seen was present on her face. "Is off limits."

Turning, she moved towards the bedroom. "Cook your own dinner. Good night."

* * *

Laxus may have been feeling a little bit guilty. As he sat in the living room, eating his dinner by himself, he reflected over everything that had led to this point. It had started off simple enough, Laxus had put baby powder in Lucy's hair dryer, and then she had retaliated by putting itching powder in his shoes when she _knew_ he would be hiking.

And in that one retaliation, an all-out prank war had begun. And in the year that he and his wife had been at it, the pranks had slowly become more and more ruthless.

So, in order to get revenge after she had made his grandmother's cookies –with ghost chillies – he had stuffed around with some of her beauty products, all of which she had discovered. But, because Laxus was not a one-plan-only-man, he had called one of his college friends, Hibiki. Said man had kindly repayed Laxus an owed favour and had set Lucy's mouse to the slowest setting.

Oh and had programmed Lucy's computer to shut down each and every time she opened her Internet Explorer.

And maybe it _had_ been a tad-bit mean, but revenge was revenge.

Which meant – from both the severity of the prank _and_ Lucy's reaction – Laxus needed to watch his back. So, he called in his trusted ally.

She was on speed dial, and had picked up within the first two rings. "Levy, I need your help."

 _"What happened?"_

"Lucy's very angry,"

There was a pause.

 _"I'll tell you as soon as I hear anything."_

And then the librarian hung up.

Laxus and Levy's arrangement was a complete secret to Lucy. If the blonde found out that he was taking extra precautions – going as far as to get intel from his wife's best friend – then Levy wouldn't be told anything in the future. And that was something Laxus couldn't risk.

If he had no intel then he would have absolutely no way to prepare himself. And if he had no way to prepare himself…

Well he was well and truly fucked.

* * *

Lucy's favourite part of this prank war was the revenge part. More so the reaction than anything, but the planning, well that was fun too. The first thing she needed was an abundance of cotton balls. So she called one of her husband's best friends. "Hey Gajeel, how are you?"

 _"I'm not too bad, how are you doin, Bunny, heard about the BFG's prank yesterday. Sorry I couldn't help ya sooner."_

Gajeel was her inside man. Not that Levy and Laxus knew – though they definitely thought _she_ didn't know about _their_ arrangement. But they still hadn't caught on to her and Gajeel's planning.

"You know that guy you get your supplies from?" she asked, "The one that gives you the good discounts?" The man was a childhood friend of the tattoo artist, one that gave him mass supply for cheap prices.

Just what Lucy needed.

He hummed, _"What about 'im?"_

"I'll pay you for everything, but I need you to buy. . . five-thousand cotton balls…" Hearing the silence on the other end she quickly added, "Please."

 _"Yea alright, but you gotta tell me what yer plannin."_

Lucy giggled, "Of course."

 _"Alright, see ya, Bunny,"_

Lucy grinned. "See ya!"

Lucy looked at the stand in front of her, looking down at her empty cart. At six dollars for a thousand, Lucy knew this was going to be ruthless. She took four bags, putting them in her cart before moving down the aisles and into the arts and craft section. Taking several tubes of glitter and adding them to the pile of sweet revenge, she moved to the register, ignoring the look the cashier was giving her.

There were many pros to having a split bank account, namely was the that neither spouse could see what the other had bought. Which meant that she could spend as much as she wanted on whatever she wanted, without having to worry about him seeing it.

It also meant that she could hire a storage garage and let these jelly balls grow without her husband knowing. So that's exactly what Lucy did.

After a short car drive she arrived at the storage warehouse and, after a pleasant conversation with the owner – who had guaranteed that there was in fact a water supply – led her to the garage she had hired. She had her supplies inside the staked tubs she had brought and set them on the floor, albeit one. She took the tub and filled it with water and then added the balls.

She continued until all the balls were inside the tubs. Then she slid the door down, locked it and returned home.

* * *

Laxus was on edge. Everyone had noticed, and everyone close to him understood why. And anyone else found out shortly after. He checked every room before he entered it and eyed everything suspiciously. When he had finally had enough – which was only after he picked apart the layers of his lunch, he dialled Levy's number.

"Has she said anything?" It was mumbled, and Laxus listened in the silence for any beeps that might indicate that Lucy had bugged his phone.

 _"The only thing she's told me is that you_ should definitely _be worried."_

Laxus groaned, sighing, "Great." He scowled, tipping out his mug of cold coffee – barely comfortable to admit to himself that he hadn't drunk it out of fear – "Just fan-fucking-tastic."

 _"I gotta go, Laxus, but I'll tell you if anything comes up."_

After saying goodbye, Laxus hung up, locking the office doors and driving home.

It was while he was parked at a red light that he looked out his window. His wife's car was stopped next to him, waiting patiently for the light to turn green. He didn't need to roll down his window, because, as if sensing his stare, Lucy looked at him.

And then she smirked, her lips pulling up in a way that suggested she had well and truly won.

And Laxus was about ready to accept defeat.

* * *

Lucy had dropped into the library Levy worked at. It was quiet at this time of day, so – while still quiet – Lucy began chatting with Levy. It had started out perfectly fine, and then, oh so slyly, Lucy brought up Laxus' last prank. Lucy had to admit, Levy's shocked face was well and truly convincing, and if Lucy hadn't already known that her best friend and husband were conspiring against her, she would have fell for it.

"What are you doing for revenge?" Levy asked, giving her a wide-eyed look, "And I'm sorry about the chapter, Lu,"

Lucy waved her hand, "Don't worry about it, Levy," she smirked, "As for the revenge, well," she drawled out, "I might need your help."

Levy nodded excitedly, genuinely, "What do you need me to do?" she rolled back on the balls of her feet.

"I need you to convince Gajeel to take him out," Lucy grinned, "I just need one night, then everything will be in fine order."

"What are you up to, Lu?" Levy asked, apprehension clear in her voice.

Lucy shrugged, "I just wouldn't be wearing any of his going out clothes, that's all."

The conversation drifted soon after, and Lucy had excused herself, leaving the library so she could go and add more water to the jelly balls – not that she would tell Levy, of course.

So Levy waited until the coast was clear, pulled out her phone and dialled Laxus' number.

"Don't wear any of your fancy clothes, you're going out with Gajeel on Saturday night, buy an outfit. Do not wear anything you already have." She paused, "Goodbye."

* * *

When Saturday had in fact arrived, Lucy had been working while Laxus had had the day off. She had taken his car, making sure that when she arrived back home he wouldn't be there. It wasn't hard considering she had had to get the cotton balls from Gajeel – that had taken up the entire front seat and floor, as well as some on her lap – and the jelly balls from the garage, which had taken up her boot space and back seat.

And then she was at home, Laxus gone, having taken her car just as she had planned. She parked it in the driveway, stepping out, Lucy shivered. It was only six-thirty, but with winter drowning out the sun, it was already chilly, just as she had wanted.

She took the cotton balls out, stacking them on the driveway; she emptied the boot and back seat next to the cotton.

"It's gonna be a long night." She was grinning from ear to ear, shivering in the cold.

She put a hand on the front of the car, pulling it back quickly at the sharp coolness.

She took an extra tub, running over to the front yard tap and filling it. After Lucy managed to haul it back to the car, she took the first cotton ball. Squatting down low, she dipped it in the water and then pressed it to the bottom of the car. Like a tongue on a freezer, it stuck.

Lucy grinned maniacally, picking up the next cotton ball, continuing even when her hands were red and blotchy and had loss feeling.

After three long and cold hours, Lucy had managed to cover the entirety of Laxus' car. It looked like a walking fluff ball, and Lucy couldn't help but laugh looking at it. Opening the garage door, she drove in.

Grinning, Lucy ran inside, taking the glitter from her underwear draw, running back to the garage. She turned the car on, sitting on her calves so she was roughly Laxus' height. Turning on the heater, she began tilting the vents, making sure they all hit her face. Then she turned the car off, taking the little vials of glitter, she carefully lined each slot in each vent with purple, pink, blue, and green sparkles.

Stepping out of the car, she laughed once more at the appearance. Then, after dragging all the tubs of jelly balls and draining the excess water, she poured them into the car through the sunroof.

Once everything was done, Lucy put the tubs inside her car, locked the garage and the car, and stared at her work. Honestly though, Lucy thought it was a little underwhelming. So, taking the vials of glitter from its place on the floor, she emptied two of the vials inside the car, and with the rest, she emptied on the cotton balls.

Looking proudly at her work, Lucy went inside and slept like a baby, knowing Laxus would be _far too tired_ to check on his car.

* * *

Laxus woke up pleasantly; Lucy was cuddled into his side, a long breath escaping her as she smiled softly. Leaning down he pressed a kiss to her hair, watching as her eyes flickered open. The soft smile was still on her face as she pulled him closer, her eyes closing again.

Yesterday was spent solely lounging around all day, as they had promised their Sunday's would always be. It was a nice change, he wasn't on edge, he was completely relaxed. Yes, definitely a nice change from his usual tenseness.

Turning his head Laxus checked the time, feeling his heart come out his ass, he jumped out of bed, pulling on the first clothes he could. "Fuck… fuck, fuck, fuck."

Lucy awoke at the noise, staring at him pull a button up shirt over his shoulders. Checking the time, she felt her eyes widen, "You're a bit late, babe,"

"You don't say," he pulled on his shoes and ran into the kitchen, slamming two pieces of toast into the toaster.

Lucy followed him out, putting on her slippers and dressing gown in an attempt to fight the cold.

 _Hopefully the cotton balls stayed on…_

He buttered his toast at lightning speed – not even putting anything else on them – and shoved the first piece in his mouth. He speed walked towards the door leading to the garage. He had parked Lucy's car outside on Saturday night, his car all by itself in the garage.

Lucy held her breath, her grin forcing its way onto her face.

Laxus flipped the light switch on, his head still facing their kitchen, "See ya later, babe, love–"

Lucy figured that Laxus had turned his head forwards at that point, because there was a frost in the air as everything froze, and then a strangled noise came from him.

"Lu-Lucy…" his tone sounded so defeated that Lucy almost felt bad.

Almost.

"How do you like it?" she grinned.

Growling, and no doubt scowling, Laxus ripped the driver's seat door open. Lucy stifled her laughter as the jelly balls tumbled out.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Laxus, with his large hands, started sweeping the balls out of the car, decorating the garage floor with them.

Decorating his pants with the glitter.

"You've got to be FUCKING shitting me!"

After clearing as much as he could, Laxus started the car, slamming the door closed, Lucy watched as one lonesome cotton ball fell to the ground.

Laxus ground his teeth together. He fucked with her laptop, so she did this? He would enjoy the revenge immensely. His arse was already getting cold, the jelly shit had apparently started leaking, and his vigorous sweeping had only managed to mush them further into the seat.

Grinding his teeth together, he wound down the window, turning the heater on, "I hope you're fucking–" Laxus coughed, rubbing his eyes and choking as something small and grinding made its way down his throat. Looking onto his lap, he glared at the glitter surrounding him, gagging and spitting out as much as he could.

He could see Lucy on the step, laughing away as if this was the funniest fucking thing the world had ever seen.

"You're a fucking dick!" And with that he sped out of the driveway.

* * *

Walking into his office shouldn't have been as shameful, but with the entire company seeing his car do an impersonation of a giant acid-tripping q-tip, then him getting out of it, more of that jelly bullshit spilling out of his car like it was a unicorn's seeping asshole. Then all of them seeing his tangled hair, wet arse, and the glitter covering the majority of his body, Laxus knew he was never going to live this down.

And maybe he could have overridden it all with his proud ego, if only his grandfather hadn't come in for a surprise visit. Because after everything that had happened, all he _truly_ needed was his Grandfather seeing him while he looked like the fourth PowerPuff Girl. He had been laughed at, which, if the roles were reversed, he was sure he too would have done.

But his Grandfather had been silent. Eerily silent. And then his wise old voice had muttered something that had Laxus collapsing into a chair:

"I take it the married life is doing you well."

All Laxus knew was that Lucy not going to like the taste of revenge.

* * *

 **Heyyyyy. I hope you liked this as much as I did writing it.**

 **I'll see you all tomorrow with Tears - which honestly I could barely write because, well, laughter.**

 **Drop a review, they keep the fingers typing**


	3. Tears

**Yes, I'm a procrastinator, not at writing, but at publishing.**

 **So you'll probably get multiple chapters today.**

 **Yay.**

 **Anywho, drop a review, they keep the fingies typing.**

* * *

 **Tears.**

They really should've known better. It wasn't like the situation was something unrealistic, but to this extreme… Well Lucy was certainly enjoying herself. Yes, they definitely should have expected this. No party was ever safe with their group of friends.

Cana's party at the very least.

And considering the drunk had organised everything for herself – with only the help of Mira and Erza at select times – well Laxus just knew that he shouldn't've fucking come. Sure he wasn't old by any means, but he certainly felt too old to be doing this shit.

Really he blamed social media.

Because he too had seen the video of countless men, balloons tied around their stomachs as other men rammed into them from behind. And he had cracked up. Laughing harder than the time Lucy had had fallen down a slope of snow – even when his wife had had to climb all the way back up, stumbling and falling countless times, only to reach the top and get pushed back down by himself.

So when Cana came up with the brilliant idea that every male at her party would do the same – he _really_ shouldn't've been surprised.

And by the cackle that sounded from Lucy, he still really wasn't sure if the blonde had known about it.

Or if she was had it as one of her pranks against him.

But despite Lucy's unknown plans, Laxus did have to congratulate Cana on one part. Whether it was intentional or not, the brunette had done the smartest thing she could've.

She had put them in teams.

And it was no secret that all of the males were competitive. Annoyingly competitive. And she had put all of the rivals on opposite teams, in order so they would be running together. Which meant that every single one of them would be ramming incredibly forcefully into the person with the balloon.

Which meant that everyone with a phone would have some pretty decent blackmail.

Including Lucy.

 _Fuck._

So as he lined up , looking across to where one of his best friends and biggest rival was, he smirked at the pierced man. Gray was in front of him, a pink balloon tied around his ass, as he yelled unoriginal insults at Natsu. And in front of the loud pair that Laxus already wanted to punch in the throat, was Loke, standing across from Bickslow, both constantly fighting over the birthday girl's attention.

And then Cana blew on her rape whistle and Loke ran towards Freed, the green-haired man blushing profusely, muttering obscenities that Laxus would pay to hear as he gripped the table, his back bent ever so slightly.

And as he ran, Laxus took the time to appreciate how fast Loke really was, understanding instantly why he was known as 'Leo the Lion' – why he had gotten a scholarship so easily.

And by the time Bickslow popped his balloon, after repositioning three times, Gray was already running and smashing into Loke.

And then Laxus was running, questioning his very existence as Lucy screamed at him to go faster, cackling as he slammed into Gray, the balloon not popping. And then, because rules were rules, he had slam into Gray again, feeling his dignity and pride burst when the balloon did.

And as if that wasn't physically, mentally, and psychologically damaging enough, he was bent at the waist, looking like a submissive little bitch waiting for someone to go in balls deep. And all the while he had to hear the women around him laughing – not to mention Gray and Natsu screaming and arguing over whether Gajeel or himself was better at dry-humping.

So Laxus looked over at Gajeel, who had Gildart's coming up behind him very quickly, much faster than Elfman, who was lagging only slightly behind due to Laxus' inability to fucking pop a balloon.

And then Gildarts rammed into Gajeel, sending the table flying forward – just like in the fucking video.

 _You've got to be fucking with me here._

And then, due to Elfman's slow fucking reactions, he of course rammed into Laxus, who did not have the table to brace himself against, and therefor went flying forward.

Hitting his ribs straight on the edge of the table, breaking thought it and getting caught in the fucking criss-cross of bars underneath the plastic. And then, as if to rub salt into his fucking injuries, Elfman got down on his knees and straddled him until the fucking balloon popped.

And added with the pressure on his ribs and Elfman's added weight, Laxus was finding it a little hard to breathe – most probably because what felt like an empty beer bottle had struck him straight in the fucking solar plexus.

And so Laxus was in a state of gasping and wheezing as he tried to get oxygen into his lungs, which had decided that right now was not a suitable time for them to do their fucking job. So as Elfman stood up, raising a fist in the air and screaming, "Dry humping is MANLY!" Laxus couldn't even find it in himself to feel relieved now that the weight was gone.

So he pathetically rolled over, onto his back and tried to get his lungs to fucking work – the organs seemingly wanting a holiday.

And then Lucy was next to him, kneeling down, tears streaming down her face. Not because she was worried, but because she was still laughing her fucking ass off. And even as she tried speaking, she cracked up again.

"O-oh baby, oh –" Laughter. "A-are you –" Laughter. "Oh God!" Laughter.

Laxus glared at her, his face no doubt losing its redness as he finally sucked in a tad bit of breath, coughing it up and breathing in again. "I fu-fucking hate you."

"Babe, are you," she let out a gaspy laugh, "Are you alright, baby?" she tried to keep a straight face, she really did, but Laxus could see straight through it.

"Fortunately," Cana announced, grinning wildly, a beer in her hand. "Laxus' team won!" and then there were cheers and laughter and more of Elfman's 'manly' screaming.

Still, Laxus didn't feel like a winner.

"I'm proud of you baby," Lucy knelt down, mumbling so quietly even Laxus found it hard to hear her. "If it makes you feel any better, I think Gray is questioning his sexual orientation."

And then he was choking again, and as he tilted his head, he looked at Gray whose face was very serious as he gulped down a glass of alcohol.

"You think?" he asked, laughing.

"My gaydar is pretty impressive, Laxus, so yes I'm sure." She smirked, both of them recalling their first meeting.

"Whatever happened to those two?" he asked absentmindedly.

Lucy brightened, "Oh they divorced their wives and joined their companies," she grinned, "So I guess you could say that everyone got a happy ending,"

"Not Cana," he sat up slowly, pulling up his shirt to reveal an already purple bruise. "She's gonna get a fucking earful," standing to his feet, Laxus helped Lucy to her feet, wrapping an arm around her.

"I love you, baby," she grinned, looking up at him.

Laxus smirked, kissing her forehead, "Love you too,"

Sighing, Laxus looked around the backyard, at all their friends – their family. They were all at peace with themselves, and the people around them. And Cana stood up on a yard chair, a glass in her hand as she cheered, "And for the next game! PUT THE HICKEY ON THE BICKSLOW!"

Laxus let his shoulders sag, sighing again. "I need a beer."

* * *

 **so that's that, not as long as the other two, but it's finally out after much procrastination.**

 **Drop a review people, they keep me doing this.**

 **~Scarlet**


	4. Protect

**I'm a procrastinator. Not even with writing, with publishing.**

 **Please enjoy this, I'm not making any promises on the next one, but I WILL finish this.**

 **Just some Fairy Tail dramatics for everyone.**

* * *

Protect.

Laxus' heart was pumping. Faster than it ever had. And as he stretched his neck, looking over the wall he was hiding behind, he raised his gun, resting the barrel on the top of it. When he saw the enemy, he tracked them, watching them; analysing their movements so he could make the perfect shot. And when they moved slightly to the left, their heart in his view, Laxus aimed at the vital organ.

And then he pulled the trigger.

There was a scream that pierced air, more of a shout as his enemy fell to the ground.

"LAXUS THAT'S NOT FAIR!" Natsu tried rubbing off the orange paint on his chest plate. "You caught me off guard!"

"DON'T CHEAT, NATSU! YOU LOST, GET OVER IT!"

"NEVER!" And then Natsu was charging for him. But Laxus had a Lucy to protect, so he re-aimed, and held the trigger, splattering Natsu with an array of orange and yellow. And then Gray was charging towards him, and Laxus shouted a battle cry, shooting him on his chest and arms.

Before he even called over his shoulder, Gajeel was by his side, aiming with him as they began shooting the other team.

"Go, baby!" Laxus smirked, sparing a glance over his shoulder at where Lucy was calmly sitting, waiting to be taken to the other teams base: Levy. "Come on Gaj, you gotta go get Levy!"

"I'm a little busy, Bunny!" He yelled back, taking aim as he shot at Loke, who tucked and rolled behind an empty tank, his gun peaking around the side as he shot at them. Erza rolled onto the scene, lifting her gun and shooting at Mira, who was now standing on top of the wall Gajeel and Laxus were shooting from.

"Back down, Scarlet." There was a deathly calmness that came with Mira's normally sweet and bubbly voice – one that dared no one to move.

Erza stood, her hair in a ponytail as it swayed behind her, "I would consider your next move very carefully, demon." She took the twin machine guns, aiming at Mira.

"TAKE COVER!" Laxus ducked behind the wall, Gajeel at his side. They prepared themselves as best as they could, but still, all he could hear was gunfire.

The banging and pooping stopped, Mira was falling backwards, off the wall and landing on the ground, thudding as she lay still. Laxus looked at her stomach and chest, covered with blue and green paint. "I-I'm sorry," her eyes closed and no more movement came from her.

Laxus risked a glance over the wall, watching Erza drag herself by her arms. She rolled over, and Laxus saw the orange spot on her heart. Then the red-head stopped moving. Gajeel jumped over the wall, aiming his gun at Cana. Loke squeezed his trigger, and Gajeel fell lifeless to the ground.

"Shit," Cana stalked her way towards him, and Laxus hopped over the wall, both of them face to face with each other.

"Any last words, Dreyer?" Laxus smirked. If their plan had gone accordingly then he would be fine.

"Drunk, three o'clock!"

Cana barely had time to frown before an orange splotch appeared on her right shoulder, then her left, and finally on her heart. As Cana fell to the ground, Evergreen, Freed, and Bickslow were at his side. He smirked when Jet and Droy announced themselves.

"Easy kill, don't you think?" he mumbled. His team nodded.

Jet and Droy lifted their guns, shooting at them, Evergreen and Bickslow raised their guns as well, shooting back just as fiercely. And before they even blinked, all four shooters dropped. Freed and Laxus stared at each other, unsure of what happened.

Then Freed dropped, and Laxus searched for where the bullet came from.

Hiding on top of the roof of one of the crumpled buildings, he found the source of the bullets.

"I'll admit, I completely forgot about you two." His voice was raised, still not quite yelling.

"How did you forget about the most accurate and best shot?" Bisca asked, smirking.

"Or the consecutive six year tournament winner?" Alzack spoke, kneeling next to his wife.

Laxus smirked, "I thought you'd be at home with the ankle biter."

"Adults need to have fun too, Laxus." Alzack narrowed his eyes.

"And now it's time for your fun to end." Bisca readjusted her gun.

"Touché." Laxus lifted his gun.

He had to be tactical, because Bisca was the best shot, but Alzack was the best player. It would be smart to kill Bisca on the first shot, she was better at long distance than Alzack, but her husband was exceptional with moving targets. Either way, Laxus knew his time was coming to an end.

But if he could manage to kill both of them…

Laxus lifted his gun higher, moving his face closer to the sights. Then when seeing the couple to do the same, he narrowed in on Alzack. Then when Bisca's pinky twitched, something she always did before shooting, he moved his gun and squeezed the trigger, hitting her straight in the heart.

He watched Alzack's eyes widen, and then the father pulled the trigger, and Laxus felt the shot hit him in the right shoulder.

Fuck…

Then, as Alzack went to re-aim, Laxus lifted his gun, too late to stop the shot from Alzack that hit him directly in the stomach, then the heart. And with his last dying breath, Laxus squeezed the trigger, watching as the light around him dimmed, only just seeing Alzack hit the ground.

 _I'm sorry Lucy._

Then Laxus let his eyes close.

Lucy stood, her eyes dark; unforgiving. She walked towards her husband, taking the handgun she had strapped to her thigh. Holding it in front of her, just as Laxus had shown her. She moved towards him, bending down and placing a kiss on his forehead. Then, she kept moving. Towards the other base protector.

Levy.

When they saw each other, it was as Lucy came around the first bend; where Erza had fallen, the redhead still laying lifeless. They both paused, their guns lowered. Then they glared at each other with as much ferocity and hatred as they could muster.

"My husband is dead." Levy said at once.

Lucy narrowed her eyes, "Only because your team killed him."

"Well, maybe if your husband had his back like he said he would, we wouldn't be standing here." Levy crossed her arms, "Would we?"

"Don't act like you're the only one that's lost something." Lucy kept her arms at her side, clenching the hand that was wrapped around her paintball gun.

"There needs to be a winner." Levy raised her chin, "And I will avenge Gajeel."

"And I will avenge my team."

It was a classic Mexican standoff. Both just standing, facing off against each other. Neither of them moved, but Levy uncrossed her arms, her gun much the same as Lucy's. After minutes of painful glaring, Lucy lifted her gun quicker than Levy could have ever seen and pulled the trigger.

Watching as Levy fell to the ground.

Lucy turned around, dropped her gun, and walked away.

"That was the most dramatic thing I've ever been part of." Lucy shook her head, buckling her seatbelt as Laxus laughed, "You guys do that every time it's your birthday?"

Laxus nodded, turning right, "Tradition is tradition."

"Who used to be the base?"

Laxus smirked, "Gajeel,"

Lucy blinked. Then she shook her head, laughing, "You made Levy and Gajeel face off every year?" still she was laughing, and Laxus found himself grinning just hearing it, "How the hell did you manage that?"

"Well," he cleared his throat, grinning at the memory. "The first year, I was seventeen, and they had just started dating." He thought back frowning, "And Gajeel did something stupid, I don't know what, I think he ruined one of her books."

Lucy nodded, giggling, "Certainly sounds like something he'd do."

Laxus laughed, "Well, whatever it was, Levy was fucking pissed. And so when I asked who wanted to be base players, she volunteered her and Gajeel," Laxus was cut off by Lucy's abrupt laughter. Laughing at her laughter, he continued, "The standoff must've lasted less than five seconds until Gajeel was laying on the ground."

Lucy shook her head, "I had no idea that Levy was so ruthless."

Laxus looked at her, a tired expression on his face. "She's not, trust me. The year after that, they finally fucked in the days coming up to it," He shook his head slightly, wetting his lips. "We had to lay in th heat for three hours while they both cried – literally cried – over who was gonna die."

Lucy felt her lips twitching; she looked at Laxus, that tired expression still on his face as they waited at a red light. "Wait, you're serious?"

He nodded, "You always knew how the relationship was going by how long it took for one of them to get shot and who was getting shot."

"So Gajeel's actually shot Levy before."

Laxus nodded, "Once."

Lucy turned to him, "Elaborate."

Laxus grinned, "Gajeel once again did something stupid,"

"Shocker," Lucy said sarcastically.

"So out of spite, Levy got a tattoo from the company Gajeel used to work at." Laxus sighed, "Let's just say that he didn't exactly quit on good terms."

"Did Levy know this?"

"Yeah, that's why she did it, she knew it was the easiest way to piss him off, show him that she wasn't going to tolerate his bullshit, and fucking props to her."

Lucy sat silently, watching as Laxus grinned.

"Takes a lot of fucking courage to stand up to Gajeel."

"So where is this tattoo?"

Laxus smirked, "Well originally it was just on her back. I'm pretty sure she got a shrimp too." He laughed, and Lucy was caught off guard by it. "Then Gajeel did a cover-up, turned it into an awesome fucking dragon. Easily the best work he's ever done."

"It seems I need to see this tattoo."

She faced forward, her eyes drifting back to him, watching and listening as he hummed the song on the radio. He looked so peaceful in that moment, so content.

"Hey, Laxus," he hummed, his eyes meeting hers before they drifted back to the road. "I think I might be in lo–" before she could finish, the car behind them slammed into them, sending her flying forward, smacking her head on the glove compartment.

"Ah, fucker," groaning, Lucy looked up at Laxus, who was clutching his nose, having smacked it on the steering wheel.

"You good?" he asked, his voice muffled. "Oh shit, babe, you're bleeding."

Frowning, Lucy swiped a hand across her forehead, "For fuck sake." Glaring at the car behind them through the mirror, Lucy opened the car door, a terrifying glare present on her face.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" she yelled, catching the driver off guard. They got out of their car, much shorter than herself. "Oh, of course," she laughed bitterly, "Lord Tumbleton," she sneered, and in a mocking voice she continued. "Head of the Tumbleton Corporation, how have you been today?" Not waiting for him to respond, she kept speaking, "Well I know I've personally had better days, you know – ones that don't involve getting into a crash because some little bitch baby forgot their booster seat and couldn't see over the wheel."

"M-Miss Heartfilia," he stammered, his mouth dropping ever so slightly.

Lucy laughed, "I think you need to go and apologise to my fiancé, because you just cut off a _very_ important conversation."

Astonishingly, Lord Tumbleton looked at Laxus and apologised, stammering his words. And Laxus nodded dumbly, unsure of what to do in this situation – completely baffled by his wife's antics.

Lucy nodded her head in satisfaction, once more fixing her glare on Lord Tumbleton. "I expect that the damages will be covered by you." Waving her hand, Lucy turned and walked back to the car. "Good day, Mr Tumbleton."

Nodding, she slammed the door shut, looking at Laxus and exhaling, her shoulders relaxing.

"And this important conversation?" Laxus asked, starting the car up again.

Lucy felt her eyes widen, "Oh," watching the light turn green, she pursed her lips, "Yeah, well, I think I might be in love with you." she kept her eyes forward, her cheeks stained with colour.

"Oh." Was all Laxus said.

Lucy nodded once, "Yeah."

Laxus kept his eyes on the road, and honestly, Lucy wanted Lord Tumbleton to hit the back of the car again, just so she could hit her face on the glove compartment again.

"Well that's that." she coughed. "So, uh…"

"You know I think it's a good thing." Laxus said abnormally quick pace. He was blushing slightly, something Lucy didn't think she'd ever actually see. "Because I love you too."

And when Lucy looked at him, he was staring intensely at the road, his cheeks tinted a little bit more. "You ASS!" she was grinning, and when he saw her smile – after looking at her with wide and confused eyes – he visibly relaxed. "You made me think that I was in some heated unrequited love situation!"

And Laxus laughed, his deep throaty chuckle resonating through the small confines of the car. And Lucy was momentarily stunned, because there was something in the way that his eyes lit up that was truly mesmerising. And Lucy knew that she would live for as long as he wanted if that light was still there.

"I guess I should really be thanking Lord Tumbleton." She mumbled. Because really, if she hadn't kindly told him to fuck off, then she wouldn't be sitting in this car right now. And if she weren't sitting in this car at this moment in time, she didn't think she would be able to live. Because in the year that they had been married, Lucy hadn't ever been happier.

"What did you say?" Laxus asked.

Lucy sighed, "I just really hate Lord Tumbleton, that's all."

And as she studied his face, Lucy felt herself loving him even more.


End file.
